The Anthem 4: Cooked Up Crow
No sour grapes here, no Designated NFM Judge bitterness, just the delicious taste of cooked up crow. Shot, plucked, quartered, marinaded, grilled, seasoned, and enjoyed. The marketing department of Nebraska Furniture Market couldn't have been more clear in what they were after. An anthem of home, of feelings, of family, of sights, smells, and the pursuit of happiness. Sell Cheap, Tell The Truth missed the mark, not even making it to the public voting round. Of the 10 songs that advanced, 7 have the word 'home' in the title. I used this critical word only once, tucked in the 2nd verse, after a wailing harmonica part. Evidently, my double down on Mrs. B was a mistake. History and company culture were largely ignored by the insiders, scoffed at by the NFM Designated Judges, they were listening for something different. I just wanted to move product.
A cynic might conclude they're reverting to a Sell High, Tell Them Lies creed, but thankfully I'm not a cynic. Just wish the public could've decided, my entire strategy assumed ascension to the public voting stage. But wishes are just wishes and bitching is just bitching, they are worthless activities, a horrible way to spend time. Frankly, a bit relieved to avoid the top 5 Omaha trip stage, where the remaining contestants receive a free one-night accommodation voucher. Weirdly, and cheaply, travel costs to the event are not covered. A gas card should have been offered. But my suggestions (there are others) are for the marketing department and their lawyers, the steerers of the sales strategy, the creators of the contest rules. Clearly, they need help. The songwriters remaining are my heroes, and as my crow was enjoyed, I participated in the voting process.
The Danika Portz tune, House Becomes A Home, is on another level from all others. Anthem velcro, with a perfectly executed piano opening, excellent vocal phrasing, and a noted lack of lyrical cheese. A seasoned Nashville musician with years of USO tours and a big smile, she should run away with the $25K. Got my vote. The Snackboyz tune, Flex Anthem, is shockingly entertaining, they must be one of the Omaha 5. Kyle Sexton's Home Has A Place In The Heart gets into the historical aspects of the company and is well written. The current vote leader, 20% to 19% over Danika, is Bethany Cranfield's Welcome Home. After another listen, appreciate the workplace culture vibe and understand the support the song is getting during the early days of voting. Probably John Rose with Memories is next, "infinite moments, smelling the donuts" is a fabulous line. Several could make a run. Elections are odd, as we all know. Enjoy Omaha, all the best to all the best. A wine toast with wine made from the best grapes, the sweet ones, the juicy ones, the perfect ones. The ones that aren't sour.
Some Like Hot Cheetoes is considered a classic by many. Vantaggio, of course. Queso, Biltmore Blonde, Two Step, Novocaine, and Cold Meat Blues. Songs of commerce, instruments of rocketing sales, diddys of distinction. My jingle portfolio is well stocked, some written and recorded, some just written, some just clear in my mind. One day, years from now, The Jingle Hut, Inc. could revolutionize musical advertising. One day, perhaps. For now, Nebraska Furniture Mart is on their own, but Danika will bail out the marketing department. It will be fine, just fine. Houses will become homes. They will thrive, their Anthem will be way better than anything from The Room Store or Rooms To Go. Truth is music, and music sells. Vote.