Skip to main content

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Nine

 

"No Controversy" by jpg

Researching Max Purcell.  Has a Wimbledon title in doubles.  No controversy to speak of, but he's only won a third of his singles matches for his career.  Michael Mmoh's got wins against Zverev, Auger-Alassime, and Hubie.  Both 26 years of age, Purcell's won $3.5 million, Mmoh's at $2.5 million.  Not bad.


"Whataburger Sucks" by jpg

TTop was curious about the knife.  This dude spent 5 years in the Mojave desert, said he lost his sense of reality, said he'd defend his country again if he had to, I thought he wanted something to go down.  Told TTop the knife was for killing humans, if needed.  He wore his pistol in a holster for everyone to see.  *The double meat burger at the TX Burger in Fairfield, Texas was 5 of 5 stars.  Deep down, we all know Whataburger sucks.


"1st Victim" by The Mayor

Dumb ass.  Loses the element of surprise and becomes the 1st victim.  Add to it, he is carrying an oversized, low capacity weapon.


"Max The Mad" by jpg

Max seemed mad.  Mad at the line calls, mad at the referee, mad at the ball girls.  Made one of them cry when she committed the awful tennis sin of moving.  Poor girl, could take weeks to recover from the embarrassment.  She hung in there, kept her dignity and composure, she took the high class road.  Very River Oaks.  Max The Mad skipped the no class road and went directly to the low class road.  Seasoned with whining and a poor attempt at embracing the villain role.  As a father of daughters, I couldn't accept it quietly.  "He made her cry, what an asshole," I bellowed from the stands for hundreds to hear.  Then, TTop shouts for thousands to hear, "Default him!  Default him!".  Immediately, Max The Mad and the referee look up into the stands directly at us.  We glared back.  He wanted to replay the point, the ref rightly blew him off and gave the point to Mmoh.  The Australian Purcell went down meekly after that, he's no Mel Gibson, the true Mad Max.  Nice win, Cool Mmoh, enjoy the extra 8 grand, into the Quarters.


"Direct Line" by Houston Landlord

You have my direct line now, feel free to reach out to book directly next year and we can work it out where it's cheaper than what's on Airbnb.


Popular posts from this blog

Sources Say 5: The Fool's Century

  On the inside it's uglier than most can imagine.  Scandal, cover ups, hook ups, and pick-me-ups.  No telling what kinda narcotics float around, pill to pill, shot to shot, dose to dose, a pharmaceutical disaster.  Like Elvis without any music or Chuck Berry without any moves or Bruce Lee without any kicks or Speedy Gonzales without any speed.  Just dizzy, slurring pigment obsessed drunks, sources say. What does CBS stand for anyway?  Doesn't matter now, they've become irrelevant, a bleak reminder of last century.  The fool's century.  Duped and looped.  Now we know. We started in around the late 40's, picking fights, manipulation, sinister and crude.  Stealthy.  Spies with eyes in the skies.  Peace was never kept, it was invaded.  America was a TV show on CBS.
Read more

Sources Say 2: They Miss The Ink

  Related to manipulation abuse, but with a capitalistic twist.  They are paid by the manipulators and the victims of manipulation.  It's a winning business model until the walls come crumbling down on the street, until the curtains pull back.  You thought Oz was bad, at least they got you back to Kansas.  These journal jerks got nothing. Even a few of my sources have moved on, the wreck has left the place dim and disgruntled.  Evidently, what's-her-name stormed out of a staff meeting in tears, mumbling something about pills and booze and karaoke night.  Guess it didn't go well.  Everyone laughed at her when she left the room, seems a real toxic work environment.  They miss the ink. But that won't stop them from cheering on China, and for good reasons.  Ask the finance department.  Money's money, honey, and they got the name, the bull statue, the cufflinks.  They got smear jobs, insinuations, and an editorial board.  Somew...
Read more