Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Nine

 

"No Controversy" by jpg

Researching Max Purcell.  Has a Wimbledon title in doubles.  No controversy to speak of, but he's only won a third of his singles matches for his career.  Michael Mmoh's got wins against Zverev, Auger-Alassime, and Hubie.  Both 26 years of age, Purcell's won $3.5 million, Mmoh's at $2.5 million.  Not bad.

"Whataburger Sucks" by jpg

TTop was curious about the knife.  This dude spent 5 years in the Mojave desert, said he lost his sense of reality, said he'd defend his country again if he had to, I thought he wanted something to go down.  Told TTop the knife was for killing humans, if needed.  He wore his pistol in a holster for everyone to see.  *The double meat burger at the TX Burger in Fairfield, Texas was 5 of 5 stars.  Deep down, we all know Whataburger sucks.

"1st Victim" by The Mayor

Dumb ass.  Loses the element of surprise and becomes the 1st victim.  Add to it, he is carrying an oversized, low capacity weapon.

"Max The Mad" by jpg

Max seemed mad.  Mad at the line calls, mad at the referee, mad at the ball girls.  Made one of them cry when she committed the awful tennis sin of moving.  Poor girl, could take weeks to recover from the embarrassment.  She hung in there, kept her dignity and composure, she took the high class road.  Very River Oaks.  Max The Mad skipped the no class road and went directly to the low class road.  Seasoned with whining and a poor attempt at embracing the villain role.  As a father of daughters, I couldn't accept it quietly.  "He made her cry, what an asshole," I bellowed from the stands for hundreds to hear.  Then, TTop shouts for thousands to hear, "Default him!  Default him!".  Immediately, Max The Mad and the referee look up into the stands directly at us.  We glared back.  He wanted to replay the point, the ref rightly blew him off and gave the point to Mmoh.  The Australian Purcell went down meekly after that, he's no Mel Gibson, the true Mad Max.  Nice win, Cool Mmoh, enjoy the extra 8 grand, into the Quarters.

"Direct Line" by Houston Landlord

You have my direct line now, feel free to reach out to book directly next year and we can work it out where it's cheaper than what's on Airbnb.

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Eight

 

"Brother Basher" by jpg 

They fought a red, muddy, blood war.  Darderi has kept his relative cool.  Took down #2 seed Cerundolo in a blasting, bruising, heap.  Never saw a line call he liked, chunked his racquet, channelled his anger.  The brother basher.

"Nebbiolo Buona" by peoplesDuke

That's a proper pizza and wine dinner.  Barolo is nebbiolo buona.

"Edsel" by Fractional CEO

Played last night, pushed off with my right foot and felt a snap. Barely can walk. Like I said, Edsel.  Medial head gastrocnemius tear, also called tennis leg.

"Balken Culture" by AJ

So glad you went.  What a great trip.  Keep us updated.  Wish I could go right now as I get a lunch break.  Past couple of years this is exactly when I've driven down.  Nenad Zimonjic is like whaaaa april fools in balkan culture is every day, my man! 

"Cat Notes" by jpg 

Cat notes.  The perfect cat and the cake, but lilies are deadly, shuts down their organs.  Best toy for a cat is an empty box, and Catzilla can jump wherever, but they can't have nice things, the claws are too active.  Rabbit dinners, crane flies.  And all agreed, mosquitoes must die.

"Another Chance" by CB

Gorman looks like he's winning.  Brent wants another chance and The Todd looks confused...

"Screw W Tx" by Amos

A President's suite?  I'm in next year....screw w tx...man, looks awesome.  Tell The Todd hey!  Love that dude.

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Seven

 

"No Accidental Badass" by jpg

Francisco Cerendolo's a big threat to win it.  Maybe the next great South American player, Chilean Garin won here.  Has the background, he's no accidental badass.  Darderi beat his brother, Juan Manuel, last month at the Chile Open.  Payback, Argentine style.  Could get ugly.

"My Prime" by Fractional CEO

I essentially didn't pick up a racquet since 1988. I think my prime is ahead of me.

"Yellow, Pink, And Blue" by TTop

Yellow, pink, and blue, the colors of the popping road.

"Stick Curl" by King The Todd

Some people with bad knees stick curl so they don't even have to bend down.  My curling peak is still ahead of me.

"I'll Check My Notes" by jpg

Good God, they let Benoit Paire back in the tournament.  Biggest quitter I've ever seen on the red mud of Houston.  As I recall, a complete nonchalant loss on a Thursday in '18 or '19.  I'll check my notes.  Pulling for Kovacevic.

"Ass" by King James

He's an ass. Staff at the 4 Seasons said Paire was horrible while he was playing at a tournament there 4 or 5 years ago. 

"Famous Avant-Garde Musician" by Amos

Dude!  Please read an email I forwarded to you.  Gary Lucas replied to me!  Ha, so nerdy awesome.  Man, on a silly but serious note, I'd like your thoughts/collaboration in this (setting up a show for him down here).  Surely, the Dallas art scene would love a Gary Lucas/Don Van Vliet, art/music show.  A famous avant-garde musician presenting art by a Werner Gallery artist.  Lets talk!

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Six

"21st Full Moon" by King James

What's the plan for Houston? The 1st Sunday after the post March 21st full moon has happened, so I'm in. Just found out today that it's now Transgender Day, but no need to get me started... The Jetta will ride, just lmk. Who's all going?

"We Are On Automatic" by jpg

King James, we are on automatic!  We'll depart Dallas around 6am Wednesday, squeeze out before any major jams.  We'll go directly to the tournament, usually around 11 am.  Or so.  We go from there.

"Got Got" by AJ

The Canadian kid I like was seeded 1 in qualies and got got by TX boy Mitch Krueger.  Kruegs is good indoors but also decent on this red stuff.  Have a great time!  Y'all are Leaving Wednesday?

"Rafa Is Done" by peoplesDuke

Was talking with Ian Dempster's father today.  Ian's now director of tennis at Cameron Moore Tennis Academy in NC.  He told me to watch Marozsan. Playing great.  Can't wait for Roland Garros.  I think Rafa is done, the young bucks are too strong.  We might see a year or two of:  Zverev, Dimitrov, Alcaraz, Sinner, Medvedev, Tsitsipas, Ruud, Rune, and only 1 more for Djokovic. All grabbing a slam.

"Thanks For Sharing" by Fractional CEO

Thanks for sharing!

"Curling Championship Game" by King The Todd

Have a flight back Thursday night to make my Curling championship game and then flight out to beautiful Birmingham at the crack of sunrise. Hoping you all can pick me up on the way down at Dallas Love Field?!

"In Agreeance" by TTop

King James has spoken and I'm in agreeance.

"Keep The Gonzos Coming" by CB

Please keep The Gonzos coming while I'm in Dallas.