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The Great Wake 1: Guacamole Blockade


For seemingly insufficient reasons, Mexican avocados are the target of an American embargo, a guacamole blockade.  What happens to all the cilantro and limes, the domino effect?  Seems the salsa industry could benefit and the queso market could spike.  Follow the money, it's usually the best indicator of motives and corruption.  Might be an inside job, creating demand for the spring and summer, jack the prices, cut a deal, 10% seems reasonable.


According to sources, this is all due to a vague altercation between a Mexican avocado farmer and an American avocado inspector.  Get over it, Cinco De Mayo is closer than you think.  Figure out the kickbacks (that's what inspectors do), but make it quick.  Scheme.  Do whatever to get the green, silky, healthy, mexican fruit delivered, the California varieties have a bitter taste.

Perhaps a standoff is best, establish some sort of Avocado OPEC, work the markets, control the supply.  Exclusive, run the game, like grapes or silicon chips or tires or Ukraine.  Manipulation and channels of distribution, some dip must take the fall.  Could be the hummas freaks making trouble, they want everyone to eat their garbanzo beans, and only their garbanzo beans.  Boring chickpea fools.

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