20/20 Gonzo 5: Screwed Tapes

Join us live at the top of the hour, breaking news is breaking soon.  Evidently, a person close to an insider with ties to an assistant aide who knew someone in the nearby waiting room, told a source about dastardly deeds.  The nerve!  Just awful, those poor people need those missles and bombs.

Listen, let us explain.  It's real complicated, this conspiricy.  So much is unknowable, so much will require our intelligence, not your own common sense.  They are counting on your common sense, but you know better.  Those servers and screwed tapes tell the entire story, but the hard drives are missing.

An honorable public servant for years and years.  Led the fight to keep swimming pools safe for families and kids all over America, literally risking his very life.  And now, swimming pools are safe in Ukraine, China, and Romania too.  Exclusive interview up next, but first a word from our sponsor, Huggies Diapers.  You're in the Twilight Zone.