Skip to main content

Byron Gone Gonzo 3: The Theory Of Proximity

 

My shoes wore out.  Following the Scheffler/Day/Lee group for the final 6 holes of their 2nd round was like being involved in some sort of mass movement.  People jockeying, outsmarting, speeding ahead, staking out their spots.  It was orderly and deliberate, outside the ropes, quiet and muttering, uptight and awkward.  I bailed for the final hole, enough is enough, the heat was picking up, I was out of water, it was almost noon, I was hungry.

Then, the Theory Of Proximity was validated once again.  Big Cat Chuck sends me a note regarding a suite ticket for the 17th Choctaw Casino Par 3, the most preferred ticket at the tournament, the most coveted, right by the green, lit and tricked up, short and unpredictable.  He knew a somebody that knew a somebody else that knew the right people for the right reasons.  Evidently, I wasn't his first call, but I was on the semi-short list, and on a Friday my flexible occupation as a writer served me well, I was already on scene.  He appreciated my "responsiveness".

The air conditioning was cranked to the maximum in the Choctaw Suite, immediately I felt God Himself was involved.  Iced down Hawaiian Lagers with limes, roasted chicken slathered in mushroom sauce, sliced pork bellies, cold crisp cucumber salad, delicious brownies, chewy chocolate chip cookies, TV monitors, and staff.  We stayed put for 4 hours, we saw group after group, the hole won most of the time, lots and lots of pars, several birdies, and a few mopey bogies, I ate twice, I drank a six pack.  Professional Scott Piercy visited after his round, doing his endorsement rounds, hung out like a champ for half an hour, gave me insights, gave me scoop, answered all my question, all my follow-ups; I pressed and pressed, he was completely poised and unflappable, courteous and classy.  He's in the Top 10 for the weekend at -9, Scheffler leads at -14, Noh shot a 74 and fell back to -8.


Popular posts from this blog

Sources Say 5: The Fool's Century

  On the inside it's uglier than most can imagine.  Scandal, cover ups, hook ups, and pick-me-ups.  No telling what kinda narcotics float around, pill to pill, shot to shot, dose to dose, a pharmaceutical disaster.  Like Elvis without any music or Chuck Berry without any moves or Bruce Lee without any kicks or Speedy Gonzales without any speed.  Just dizzy, slurring pigment obsessed drunks, sources say. What does CBS stand for anyway?  Doesn't matter now, they've become irrelevant, a bleak reminder of last century.  The fool's century.  Duped and looped.  Now we know. We started in around the late 40's, picking fights, manipulation, sinister and crude.  Stealthy.  Spies with eyes in the skies.  Peace was never kept, it was invaded.  America was a TV show on CBS.

Sources Say 2: They Miss The Ink

  Related to manipulation abuse, but with a capitalistic twist.  They are paid by the manipulators and the victims of manipulation.  It's a winning business model until the walls come crumbling down on the street, until the curtains pull back.  You thought Oz was bad, at least they got you back to Kansas.  These journal jerks got nothing. Even a few of my sources have moved on, the wreck has left the place dim and disgruntled.  Evidently, what's-her-name stormed out of a staff meeting in tears, mumbling something about pills and booze and karaoke night.  Guess it didn't go well.  Everyone laughed at her when she left the room, seems a real toxic work environment.  They miss the ink. But that won't stop them from cheering on China, and for good reasons.  Ask the finance department.  Money's money, honey, and they got the name, the bull statue, the cufflinks.  They got smear jobs, insinuations, and an editorial board.  Somew...