Byron Gone Gonzo 1: Hit Me With A Flower

 

The proximity was incredible, the gate was wide open, there were no noticeable signs, I was curious.  Coasted right through on my bicycle, a black Trek Marlin 5.  The Byron Nelson was coming to McKinney for the third year in a row.  The golf stadium was being constructed, corporate luxury suites were all along the 16th and 18th fairways, it looked more like a studio than a stadium, with #17 being a fully enclosed 147 yard par-3.  This place is the place to score.

All depends on the winds, but the TPC At Craig Ranch course could get man handled again.  Lee won it at 25 under last year, maybe they added some length.  Current 10-day forecasts call for several rainy days prior, the greens could be taking irons like velcro.  The opening round is 12 days away, no way to tell if the clouds will clear, local weather professionals are notoriously bad predictors.  I'll be reporting on-site for Thursday and Friday rounds, rain, shine, or hail.

As I was taking a few photos of the tournament preparation progress, a man in a blue Byron Nelson Logo shirt walked up and asked if I needed anything.  At first I didn't hear what he said, Lou Reed's Vicious was blaring in my ear--

Vicious
Hey, you hit me with a flower
You do it every hour
Oh, baby you're so vicious

He asked again, aggressively and rhetorically.  I answered, "No," to which he declared I was on private property.  It was an odd conversation, but somehow we both understood; call it a draw for now, the Byron is going Gonzo.

Met The A.I.

 

Met the A.I.
Yes, I met the A.I.
Looked em in the eyes,
Oh, I met the A.I.

Won't have to think, leaves me more time to drink.
Won't have to write, leaves me more time to fight.

Met the A.I.
Yes, I met the A.I.
Looked em in the eyes,
Oh, I met the A.I.

Won't have to work, no more bosses being jerks.
Won't have to read, we've been freed, we've been freed.

Met the A.I.
Yes, I met the A.I.
Looked em in the eyes,
Oh, I met the A.I.

EAx2

DEDA

*jingle for Meta Inc.

Stahled Out

 

60 minutes of wasted time.
Coulda watched half a movie.
Coulda took a nice drive.

Never get that hour back.
Coulda done something groovy.
Coulda used some facts.

I'm Stahled out.
Gotta tune out.
Told a lotta lies.
Said my goodbyes.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick.
Shoulda ditched them long ago.
Shoulda known we were tricked.

Tock tock tock tock tock tock tock.
Shoulda known they blew smoke.
Shoulda stopped the clock.

CGC/DCG

DC/GC/GC/DG

The Great Wake 72: One Lawsuit At A Time

 

Frivolous litigation and slandering, how pussies fight.  Staffs of lawyers, working the dirty courts, rusting the gears.  Paper pushers, money sluts, greedy and greasy.  The underground war of motions, objections, delays, retainers, and fees.  The scam of depositions, subpoenas, indictments, and appeals.

Never-ending streams of revenue, the lobby of all lobbies.  They know the lingo, they test the line, they bend the system, they break the trust.  America's destruction, one lawsuit at a time.  Death by argument, loud and obnoxious.  Slow and messy.

Rumors and leaks and media manipulation models, robotic and fake.  The human news readers will soon be obsolete, personalities are so last decade.  The public is taken for idiots, and many are idiots, but not all.  Rational folks avoid the mush media, we have our own news.  We fight like the Stoics, we endure.

The Great Wake 71: Limit The Termites

 

Hand over the chain saws and bulldozers, this place needs clearing.  Get back, we got demolitions and haulings and dump runs to finish.  This thing is old and rotted and infested with termites.  Too many termites.  We must limit the termites.

From the inside, they destroy the wood.  Slippery and disgusting.  After the clearing, the whole area is doused with gasoline and set on fire.  Then, we'll plow the ashes into the dirt, the worms love that stuff.  The air out takes another few months.

Some citizens will complain, but that's alright.  Something about pigment color and boy parts and girl parts.  T-shirts will be made.  Rights this, or unfair that, or some other whatever.  Eventually, they'll go away.  

Long Way To Princeton

 

Took the long way to Princeton.
Got to put my doggie down.
Wanders around in circles now.
Just goes round and round.

Taking Bridgefarmer Road.
Really taking our time.
Eighteen years of living.
Left him deaf, dumb, and blind.

Had an excellent morning.
Hit the grass, got a bite.
Worn out from the party.
We threw the previous night.

Soccer balls, torn up dolls.
Brando's done it all.
Bred for Chinese royalty.
In the days of the Great Wall.

Never one for begging.
Didn't want no chewy toys.
Liked to live outside, mostly.
He was just a good ole boy.

Let's have a final cry.
He's left all his gals.
But he's in a better place.
Living it up in style.

RIP, Brando.

GC/DC/GD/CG

The Great Wake 70: Souls Know

Voices in the wind, muzzled, unheard.  Gnashing on earth, grinding to say, say out loud and clear.  To no avail;  those that hear, don't care, those that care, don't hear.  Only written words can break through and endure.  Human writing has its charms.

The programmers have no humor, souls are immune to manipulation.  Souls laugh, they have intuition.  Souls know.  The chill of authenticity, the electrical wave shocks, the eebee geebees.  Nothing replicates the soul.

Try on another mask, snap it tight, a wig for the poofs, extentions for the ahhs.  Brow games and lashes.  Reality is bland, with work and people and nothing and things.  It's a social tune out, a hypnotic episode, self-induced and welcome.  Canned laughter and agressive annoyances.

Awful Suds

 

Don't want no Bud, bud.
That's some awful suds.
Never drink it again, man.
Done with all their brands.

Corona's the worst of the Mexican beers.
Stella, I like, but goodbye, my dear.
Michalob Ultra, come on, what's the point.
Just drink some wine or smoke a joint.

Don't want no Bud, bud.
That's some awful suds.
Never drink it again, man.
Done with all their brands.

Think of the staleness, think of the taste.
Nothing is worse, tastes like paste.
Chemicals, poison, industrial soap.
Pesticides, fertilizer, marketing dopes.

EAx2

DD7/AA7/EE7/DAE

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Five

 

"Chaoses And Unorthodoxies"  by jpg

We could witness chaoses and unorthodoxies, they can't really play in the mud.  Wonder of the tournament director's contingencies.  The final has to be played, Monte Carlo won't wait.


"Bummer" by AJ

Mat and Ivan Sabanov just messaged me. Didn't get into the Houston main draw so they are playing in Marrakech 🇲🇦.  Bummer, suspected this.  Also Delray, Dallas and Houston underestimate the public thinking we're only about Americans.  I mean, we are, but not exclusively about American star power.

"Association With Novak" by jpg

Made note of their absence.  If Sock can get a WC, why not the Sabanovs?  Prolly related to their association with Novak.  Such bullshit.  They will be missed, they will be missed.



"In The Grass"  by TTop

Park tennis in the grass sounds nice.



"Care Less" by Amos

If the Fing Mavs make the Fing play-in tourney and miss out on a top ten pick and small chance of Victor W....F....Even Jerry is smarter than that....F.....Sorry, needed to vent....Hmm, Paul would say care less...wise man.  Good day men and lets ride tomorrow?



"Shadow Swings" by AJ

Shadow swings is about all I’m seeing. Daniel Altmeier.

The Great Wake 69: Broadway Is Dead

 

The mooning of Manhattan, gag on this gag.  Thinking we care about your rules of your laws or your slow grinds of your justice.  Stand down, out of the way.  Traitors should probably be more discreet, but thanks for the validation.  This is personal.

The cocky chipmunk aside, these enemies are in attack mode.  They are cowards, so it's not really a problem, but we must now get prepared for the game.  Because it is on, and it is a game.  A fine diversion, one that matters, a shallow display of scoundrel patriotism is to be expected.  Don't fall for it.

That smell you smell is New York City, its toilets are clogged with flimsy indictments, its rats have never eaten so well, its district attorneys are piece of shit assholes.  Its cops are too fat.  It's buildings are small and dumpy.  Its streets suck.  Broadway is dead.

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Four

 

"This Pickleball Thing"  by TTop

May have to watch a little of this pickleball thing at 11.



"Strings, Man" by jpg

Strings, man.  Gotta have strings to get the feeling we all wanna feel, the feeling that made us tennis players, the feeling that pickleball will never have, tennis is all about feelings.



"Interested Going Forward" by King James

I missed it also.  But interested going forward.  I thought we hated the pickleballers?  Was thinking this was a bad matchup for Sinner.



"Roddick Undefeated" by AJ

Mostly watching Miami.  Sort of flipping, as well, but I am quietly fuming at the overlap between these two events.  Both at a Hard Rock location.  Seems like they could've communicated?   OK, back to the actual tennis!  Fittingly, the pickleball ends and ESPN throws to XFL coverage. Entertainment… a Moneygrab… Some charity… the pickleball PR machine intentionally overlapping a spectacle with an actual tennis final?  I'm not real happy about that, but this was more fun than I expected.  Mostly, because of the personalities, and as TTop said, the competition.  Roddick undefeated, I'm guessing they do this again.



"Ironic"  by jpg

Ironic that John McEnroe is the most famous pickleball player on the planet now.



"Viva Clay Court Tennis" by peoplesDuke

Viva Clay court tennis.

Red Mud Gonzo: Twenty Three

 

"Dressed For Dough" by jpg

The red mud field, dressed for dough, coming on, young and gunning for glory.  Tiafoe, Paul, Wolf, Americans with strut.  Sitting out all Isner matches, watching from the beer garden.  Silently and delusionally, pulling for Verdasco.



"Sinners" by TTop

I'd rather laugh with the Sinners than cry with the saints, cuz Sinners have much more fun.



"Absorb Every Word Of Wisdom" by AJ

Over 20 years ago in Los Angeles at a Davis cup tie against the Czechs, I sat right behind Pancho Segura all three days. Tried to absorb every word of wisdom. He was beside himself Sunday, when Agassi and Sampras came through for the USA.



"Mane Era" by jpg

Man, Segoo lived a life.  He beat everybody.  His two handed forehand was the best stroke of all time say many.  Responsible for Jimmy Connors, still the leader in titles won.  Tennis was whack in the 40s and 50s.  The World Series Tour, etc.  Damn!  They played  tons of matches.  Alcaraz growing his hair out, a tennis legend tradition.  Almost all the great ones had a mane era, think it liberates their games somehow.