The Junkyard Court: A Recognizable And Distinct Gesture
The bird gesture is so universal, one clear meaning worldwide. Regardless of technique, the middle finger is known. On the other had, the peace sign seems the same as the victory sign, or the literal #2, as if a point guard were calling out a play. Close the peace sign fingers together, flip up the thumb and you naturally have the guns up sign. Texas Tech, I think. But, back to the bird for a moment, the hysteria it can cause, the rage from where it comes, the full double bird. My father, a tough man, once endangered his family by trying to run a trucker off the road for flipping him the bird. He wanted him to pull over and fight. This went on for 20 miles, at 80 MPH, passenger window down, my father leaning over my mother and screaming at the alarmed trucker through her open window. He was not pulling over for his beating from this crazed man. My mother was surprisingly calm, my youngest older brother was ready for action, and I was observing the insanity, completely involved. Eventually, things cooled, the trucker sped ahead, no doubt regretting shooting that particular bird, and we pulled over for gas and snacks. "The bird must be the worst thing in the world," I thought.
I've never given my father the bird, but it has become my favorite gesture to use for net tape points won while playing certain tennis opponents. The 'excuse me' wave gesture always seemed insincere. In fact, most can't even look their opponent in the eyes when performing this sham gesture. There is no truth in it. Also, why not the gestures when the tape shots don't dribble over? When they are rejected back at the player who hit the shot, disappointment and woe is real and tragic. Perhaps there is a statistic regarding % of tape shots won. It is a skill at which certain players are likely superior due to topspin spin rates or net clearance ratios or contact point. Or all three. Nevertheless, it is odd. If we really all wanna be apologizers on the court, go all in. Double down. Apologize for winning the racquet toss. "Sorry, guess I'll serve." Apologize for an ace. "Gosh, I really smashed that, fully extended, optimum torque angle, boom. Sorry, bet that surprised you. Big point too. Aww man. Bummer."
If tennis is a game of matches, determined by sets, determined by games, determined by points, then all points are appropriate for celebration. This is nothing more than math, keep the hurt feelings on the other side of the fence. Perhaps the bird, or double bird, is too provoking for effective use on the tennis court, but the birds have their place somewhere. As with most things, selective and modest use is best.
For Vantaggio, the peace sign seems a natural fit. No other Tennis Apparel Company has an official gesture. To make it a recognizable and distinct gesture needed for the differentiation, the functionality, and the persistence worthy of the Vantaggio brand, perhaps the Double V should be considered. Double down. The familiar peace-like gesture with the two fingers, palm facing out with the second V formed overhead by the forearm, elbow, and flexed bicep. Think of it. The Double V. Marketing gold. T-shirts, logos. Deodorant companies everywhere would line up. Magazine covers everywhere of winners sporting the brand through this Vantaggio gesture. Endured. Overcame.
Finally, be careful to whom you shoot the bird. Its passive acceptance should never be assumed. And further, if you're going there, amplify it with its twin, the double bird. Look them in the eye while gesturing. Double down. That's Vantaggio!
*Vantaggio Tennis Apparel Company has expressed 'concern and alarm' regarding use of any bird gesture on the tennis court.